Relationships and how to make them work..
So healthy relationships? Do they exist? Yes, but only with two healthy people.. It's a give and take. Compromising is key. I asked my Twitter what should be my next topic and they chose this one so here we go...
There's different levels of relationships. Friendships to lovers, but let's skip the foreplay and get right to lovers. The juicy stuff. First, I'll be totally honest; I've only ever been in two "real life" relationships. Like meet your parents, saying I love you, consider marrying this person type relationships. Both are extremely different but one taught me things to make the other work.
These are very important. There are five of them and if you haven't studied them go on ahead and google now. If you find yourself in a relationship with someone, it's important to know their love languages. This means the way THEY receive and interpret love. You can do things all day to show them how much you love them, but if they cannot interpret it, its pointless. Let me break it down real quick..
Here are the five..
Words of affirmation (ex. saying "I love you")
Physical Touch (pretty self explanatory)
Gifts (doesn't have to be big, just something special)
Quality Time (spending time with them)
Acts of Service (doing something that they would like you to do. ex. cooking, taking out the trash.. blah blah)
These are vital to any relationship because it helps you understand your partner and vice versa. If you're in a relationship, ask your partner to pick two of these. You may learn something.
TO SOCIAL MEDIA OR NOT TO SOCIAL MEDIA?
Blasting my personal relationships on social media has never been my thing. I don't believe everyone doesn't need to know everything about you. There are some things you can keep for yourself you know? Of course its all up to you if you want to showcase your love for your bae by putting them on social media and its up to you if you prefer to keep it private. I believe its a healthy discussion to have with your partner to see how they feel about it..
ARE WE JUST PLAYING AROUND OR IS THIS SERIOUS?
I really wanted to write about this one because I see a lot of women in relationships by themselves. You know what I mean.. She's totally loyal to someone who isn't loyal to her. I have been there, trust me. I thought I was dating someone and he thought we were just "building" or "figuring things out" This is why its important to communicate what you want early on.
If you're dating me.. You're having this conversation on a first date lol. I know its pretty forward but hey.. It's worked for me. I have been known to ask hey.. what are you looking for? What are you open to? Are you interested in a relationship with someone? Is that something thats next for you? You would be surprised at how honest someone can be. Their body language may change or they may be welcoming to the idea. You never know until you ask. And you need to ask this early BEFORE you catch feelings.
TO WALK AWAY OR TO STAY
This has been a question I've asked myself plenty of times in bad situations. In my opinion, if you're asking yourself this often, you kinda already know your answer. Remember.. YOU CONTROL EVERYTHING. You control if someone is allowed in your life or not. You're not stuck in anything. If you aren't happy, move on. Happiness is really all that life is about so why waste your time being anything less?
This is easier said than done so my best advice is to use the Rip the Band-aid approach. Meaning, just end it and deal with the pain later. It sounds tough but you can get over anything over a period of time. Shit's always hard in the beginning after ending a relationship with someone. But after time heals you look at it like it was nothing. So if you ain't happy.. keep it moving. Life is short!
So that's pretty much a take on how I feel about relationships. Thoughts? Let me know..